BitRot - Just For You

Ah, the United Nations. The glorious summit where ambassadors from around the world meet and solve the world's problems.

Do you know how world leaders choose ambassadors? Simple - take the one guy in your cabinet that you can't stand. Promote him to ambassador, and you can ship him off to a foreign country never to be seen again. That's what the United Nations is, a collection of pariahs nobody wanted to hang around with.

Consequently, the UN is made up of people more interested in arguing with each other than getting any real work done. If you're wondering why they're mad at the U.S. for invading Iraq, it's because they did so after a mere 10 years and 14 resolutions, not nearly enough time to get anything done.

But the UN has more important things to do than stop genocide in the Middle East, or Rwanda, or Darfur. You can see for yourself by browsing their official Calendar of Events. On tap for this month are:

The goal of this special day isn't to eradicate poverty. Its to raise awareness of the importance of eradicating poverty. They did a great job, because as I write this, on October 14, I'm much more aware of poor people than I was before.

God knows, I can't wait until this party gets underway. Despite having a logo that resembles a young child's attempt at drawing a hurricane, the Year of Microcredit is going to rock. It's a bit difficult to decipher their meaning, but it looks like the plan is to give credit cards to starving families in Africa. Sounds good to me.

Two decades and going strong, the UN is making great strides at stopping colonialism by Fra.., I mean Russ..., well, maybe they aren't making too many strides. But hey, it's only their second decade at it, give them a few centuries and they'll take care of it. I'd show you all of their accomplishments, but unfortunately, the site spits this out at me:

In case you use personal firewall, please adjust the privacy settings for this web site.

This is the only site I've ever seen such a warning on, which can only indicate that the UN is light years ahead of everyone else on the technology front.

Enough about the special events, let's check the current news page and see what the UN is up to today:

Annan laments ongoing violence in Gaza as another girl is hit by Israeli gunfire

12 October 2004 – As another Palestinian girl in the Gaza Strip was hit by Israeli gunfire while attending a United Nations-run school, Secretary-General Kofi Annan said today that he was deeply troubled by the continuing military action and violence in the area, especially its effect on local children.

Oh, watch out. Kofi is troubled. You don't want to get Kofi angry, because when Kofi gets angry, acts concerned and writes resolutions. Lots of them. But that's about all he does. What happens when there's tragedy around the world?

So if you're a paranoid conspiracy-theorist who's afraid of the future One World Government, you've got nothing to worry about. While thousands die in a genocidal nightmare, the UN is busy passing a motion to declare a date to write a resolution to investigate possibly considering doing something about the situation. You actually believe they could take over the whole world?