Yahweh Ben Yahweh

http://www.yahwehbenyahweh.com

Praise the Lord. It doesn't get any stranger than this:

While flipping channels one midnight hour, I came across a life-changing experience. It was an infomercial like none other. Not much of a pious man, yet I was enthralled by the ministries of Yahweh Bin Yahwah.

There are many religions in the world, but none of them match the splendor and awe of Y.B.Y. That's him in the picture up there. Not only sporting a wicked 'do, he can also fire beams from his hands and eyes. Let's see that slob Buddha pull that off.

But it gets weirder. As it turns out, Mr. Ben Yahweh is not only the supreme ruler of all that exists, but he also lives in Oklahoma. Much like Jesus, Yahweh was unfairly persecuted and thrown in jail, yet now he's out on probation and on the move. That's right, God himself is alive and well and travelling across the Midwest right frickin' now, preaching his message of love to all.

And it wouldn't be a proper message of love without a good conspiracy theory, of which the Y.B.Y. site has plenty. Apparently everybody is out to get him, not only because he's God, but because he's black, too. Here you can read all about the evil White House plot to destroy Yahweh. All the standard wack-job notions are present, including secret societies, hidden Bible codes, and the New World Order. Check out this exerpt:

“…and she had horns like a lamb…”.

The Oxford Pocket Dictionary and Thesaurus, American Edition, copyright 1997, on page 443, depicts a lamb as “a young sheep.” On page 732, sheep is pointed out as “a ruminant mammal with a thick woolly coat.” Thus, this says that her hair has a close likeness or resemblance to a lamb in a general way, because of a lamb’s thick woolly coat. In Webster’s New World College Dictionary, copyright 2001, on page 1648, woolly is described as “something resembling wool in texture.” On the same page of the same authority wool is described as “shaggy hair.” Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Computer Software, copyright 2000, characterizes shaggy as “consisting of coarse hair; having a rough nap or texture.”

Thus, when we relate this highly distinguished and very reputable woman’s hair to that of a lamb, it is indicative of the fact that she, in a general way, naturally has thick coarse hair of a rough nap or texture. There is only one family, race, or nation of people to equate hair like a lamb to, and that is the so-called Black folks. Henceforth, we are indisputably confirming with factual documentation that this beast coming up out of the earth in Revelation, Chapter 13, verse 11 is a highly distinguished and very reputable black woman who serves as National Security Adviser of an agency in the United States government. Our facts prove, beyond a reasonable dispute, that this is descriptive of none other than “Dr. Condoleeza Rice.” Dr. Condoleeza Rice is considered to be one of the most distinguished and reputable women in America. She is also regarded as the most “powerful” black woman in America and, in fact, the closest to the President of the United States, George W. Bush.

Now that is brilliant and flawless logic that cannot be denied. Condoleeza Rice is the AntiChrist in disguise, which might come as a surprise to her if you told her about it. Both the infomercial and the website are filled with thousands of these logic bombs, where they take a Bible passage, run the words through a dictionary/thesausus a half-dozen times, and use the 'results' to 'prove' that Yahweh Ben Yahweh is the 'true messiah' and you should definitely send all your money to him.

And in that respect, he's not unlike most other organized religions.

And as a side note - our Lord and Savior used to be called "Yahweh Bin Yahweh", but he mysteriously changed his name, perhaps to avoid a negative association with a certain terrorist mastermind.