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How To Build The Perfect Theme Park!

Although I gave Rollercoaster Tycoon 2 a scathing review, I'm shamefully addicted to it anyways. In that spirit, I thought I might aid the RCT community by showing, in detail, exactly how to build the ultimate amusement park.

Let's begin:

To start, I chose the "Create Your Own Six Flags" option, which gave me a nice flat area and a tasteful courtyard to work with, along with plenty of money to make all my themepark-related dreams come true.

Immediately, I removed most of the paths and flooded the area with pumpkins. As you can see, Giant Pumpkins are the ideal choice, while small pumpkins are used to fill in the gaps. Everyone knows that a solid wad of pumpkins is the fast track to success in RCT2. If you don't like pumpkins, you'd better learn to like them, because they're not going anywhere.

Nobody will come to the park without rides, so I added a Slide. You'll note I colored the Slide orange, to disguise it as a pumpkin. Seeing as how it's the only ride in the park, the Slide quickly became wildly popular.

Since Slides aren't very exciting, I added an extreme coaster: The Great American Scream Machine. But as the Rolling Stones pointed out, 'You Can't Always Get What You Want', so I didn't build an entrance or exit to the ride. Gullible patrons paid $20 to enter my park, only to find out their options are slide, or slide some more.

On the plus side, Slide ticket sales are booming.

Some of the suckers, or 'guests', were fed up and wanted to leave the park. I had a headcount to maintain, so I removed the only path out. As you can see in the bottom right, I also added some boiling oil, but was suprised to find out that it was harmless to the lab mice. I mean, 'valued guests'.

The oil wasn't helping me out, and the stranded guests were starting to act a little uppity. I had to 'get tough'. Any guest who gave me lip was renamed as 'Dickhead', and immediately drowned in the pool I created just for drownings. Later, I would consider building a scenic boatride, where people could canoe past the helpless drowners for a small fee.

To add a mysterious air to the proceedings, I spread around the legend of the Great Pumpkin, who someday will rise out of this very pumpkin patch and shower valuable gifts on anyone who believes in him. I also fired the worthless signmaker, who couldn't fit 3 words on a banner.

Continue to Part 2 of our exciting coverage!